We’ve all heard a familiar line from our parents: “Back in our day, our parents used to do things this way…”. This is a phrase that all the generations can relate to as they pass and adopt different parenting strategies. As you become a parent, you’re likely to hear stories about how your great-grandparents raised your grandparents, how your grandparents raised your parents, and how your parents raised you. Now that it’s your turn, you’re likely asking yourself, “What’s the best approach towards right parenting? How can I become the best parent for my little one?” Don’t worry, we got you covered. In this blog, we’ll explore how to blend the best of both worlds to raise well-rounded, happy children. 

The Doubts and the Confusions

As a new parent, you might be struggling with a lot of questions, such as 

Should I start taking my baby out to parks as I am advised not to do it for the first 2 years?

My parents say it’s not okay to pick up the baby if he’s crying. So should I? 

Should I let her cry to sleep or should I pick her up and rock her? Is it going to emotionally hurt her?

My parents said not to cuddle babies too much as it will spoil them. So am I hugging my baby too much, too long, too often? 

My mother is saying to bathe my newborn daily. Is it even okay?

… and the list goes on and on. We are sure everyone can relate.

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When it comes to the right parenting, there is no single approach that fits all. Every tradition, every culture, and in fact, every person has a different approach to parenting. The good news is, you don’t have to choose one over the other. Instead, you can create a blend that works for you and your family.

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The Traditional Approach

Growing up, you might have noticed a similar pattern around you where discipline and respect were considered the pillars of traditional parenting. Back then, parents often believed that strict discipline and harsh punishments were the best ways to raise well-behaved children. Most children were taught to follow rules, respect authority, and maintain a strong moral compass. The traditional approach follows that parents are the incharge and children have to follow them without any questions. And most importantly, the sole responsibility of raising a child was typically placed on the mother. 

Even when it comes to some routine and safety practices, you may have noticed a lot of gaps in the advice of your parents and that offered by doctors. We do agree that the elderly in the house bring a wealth of wisdom and experience to parenting. They’ve been through it all and have valuable insights to share. However, even with their invaluable knowledge, there are so many areas where grandparents need to refresh their knowledge and understanding of the latest safety guidelines and best practices.

For example, a 2017 study by Dr. Andrew Adesman (MD) found that 44% of the 636 grandparents surveyed mistakenly believed that ice baths are a good way to bring down a very high fever, despite the risk of hypothermia. The study also found that one-quarter of these grandparents were unaware that infants should be placed on their backs to sleep, a critical measure to prevent sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).

The Modern Approach

In contrast to the traditional approach, modern parenting is a bit more relaxed. It places a strong emphasis on flexibility and understanding the emotional and psychological needs of the child. They focus on open communication and working together with children to solve problems and make choices. Nowadays, parenting focuses more on the reciprocation of love and respect, giving rise to a healthy and supportive relationship.

Parents today are more likely to adapt their methods based on their child’s personality, promoting individuality, independence, and self-expression. Instead of focusing on “you should not commit any mistake”, it is focusing on “It’s okay to make mistakes, but it’s important to learn from them”. When it comes to safety practices, modern parents often make decisions based on the latest research and expert advice. This includes everything from feeding practices and sleep routines to managing screen time and educational activities.

Right Parenting and Equal Distribution of Responsibilities

In this modern era, the role of fathers has significantly evolved compared to past generations. Traditionally, fathers were often seen as the breadwinners of the family and had very little involvement in the day-to-day care of their children. However, this has changed in today’s world. Fathers are now playing an active role in childcare, rather than just spending a few minutes for play. They’re involved in every aspect of their baby’s life. From soothing their crying baby in the middle of the night to taking care of feeding, bathing, and bedtime routines, fathers are doing it all. This engagement is not only deepening the bond between father and baby but is also creating a more balanced and supportive environment at home.

This shift towards new parenting means that the responsibilities are no longer resting solely on the mother’s shoulders. Traditionally, mothers were expected to manage most of the childcare and household duties, putting their professional dreams on hold. But the key to right parenting is recognizing that mothers shouldn’t carry these responsibilities alone. There should be the right balance between the roles of both parents. This balance comes when both parents communicate openly, supporting each other and adjusting their roles based on their strengths, schedules, and the unique needs of their children. This partnership not only lightens the load for mothers but also creates a more loving and respectful environment.

With this new approach, parents are setting an example for their children, teaching them the value of equality, cooperation, and mutual respect in relationships.

Finding a Balance Towards Right Parenting: A Blend of Tradition and Modern Wisdom

So, how do you strike that perfect balance between the tried-and-tested methods of your parents and the new-age techniques that go with today’s world? Here’s how you can combine the best of both worlds:

Combining Discipline with Understanding

When your baby is comfortable with pulling up, and has learned a bit about balancing on their feet, they’ll begin to step sideways while holding onto furniture. Known as “cruising,” this usually happens around 9 to 13 months of age. You can see how this action helps prepare your baby for walking: Furniture helps them balance as they use their legs to take some wobbly steps. 

To encourage your new cruiser, some furniture rearranging might be in order. To help your baby safely practice, move a sofa, coffee table, ottoman, or some sturdy chairs closer together. Pad sharp corners and be mindful of places your baby can fall.

Once your baby starts cruising along furniture, you may also see them start to cruise along vertical surfaces, like the wall or the back of the couch. This raises the difficulty level, because they have less support for cruising and are challenged to maintain their balance.

Set Boundaries but Be Flexible with the Approach

As parents, it’s important to set rules for your children, just like the traditional approach suggests. But add a twist of modernity by letting your child choose how to follow them. For example, if bedtime is at 8 PM, you could let your child choose if they want to read a story first or pick out their pajamas. This way, they’re learning to follow guidelines while also feeling empowered to make choices.

Encourage Emotional Bonds

Let’s just forget about the myth that too much cuddling will spoil your baby. Modern research shows that physical affection, like hugs and kisses, actually strengthens the emotional bond between you and your baby, making them feel safe and loved. So, hug your baby as much as you want. Do not hesitate to comfort your baby and boost the oxytocin – “the cuddle hormone”, which is great for both of you!

Listen to everyone but follow your instincts

You will get plenty of advice from everyone – your parents, your friends, books, the internet. Uff! – that’s a lot! Use the abundance of traditional advice along with modern resources to stay informed, but don’t let it overwhelm you. As a parent, you know your child best. If something doesn’t feel right to you, trust your instincts, find the best ways, and be confident in the choices you make for your little one.

By blending traditional values with modern practices, you can create a parenting style that suits your family.

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Final words

At the end of the day, the right approach towards parenting is the one that feels right to you. No one is born a parent. There is no perfect formula when it comes to parenting. Everyone learns and grows with their experiences. But by blending the wisdom of tradition with the flexibility of modern parenting, you can create an environment that supports growth and strengthens the bond.

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